>There is no God up in the sky tonight…

>

I’m really fucking depressed right now. Seriously fucking depressed. In fact, I’m so depressed I’m not even gonna make fun of me or anyone or anything today. Okay, maybe a little, but that’s cause I need to cheer myself up before I shoot myself. And the worst part of this is that there’s absolutely no one to blame it on, no one to provide fucking explanations, no one to ease my frustration… just no fucking answers whatsoever.

Turns out, my concert, my precious, sacred, long-awaited Nine Inch Nails show was canceled due to… uhm, what the fuck did they say? Right, something like “unforeseen technical issues.” Personally, I would much rather see Trent playing piano in the dark than a big lights extravaganza and a Stonehenge of amps and shit and that one screen showing Bush morphing into McCain during The Hand that Feeds. I don’t give a shit about the technicalities, all I wanted was the music. No music for me. And okay, so I know the LCDs and the lights and the screens and the Stonehenge and that image of Bush are a big part of Nine Inch Nails as a live entity; in fact, those are some of the things that make a NIN show so fucking wicked, but in a moment of crisis like this one, I could give two shits about the lights, all I want is Reznor singing at the top of his lungs the songs that helped shape my adolescence, got me through high school and made me into the (slightly) insane, (highly) creative, (musically) obsessed person I am right now. For those saying the show got canceled because of low ticket sales, well… I don’t know much about that, but I heard fans always buy their tickets last minute, so… I don’t know, I seriously can’t talk about that.

I was this close to making it to the Buenos Aires show, but then the fucking airfares were a violation to my economy and my pocket, and even if I sold myself to the highest bidder, I wouldn’t be able to make enough to go. So fuck it, I’m not seeing Trent Reznor this time. I promise I will the next, though, and I also promise I will not let him slip away. Mark my fucking words, next time Reznor will be popping the question at the very least. In the meantime, I get to spend $600 on clothes and sushi and more sushi and chocolate cake and a lot of useless crap. It’s sad, but I have to move on. I still have the possibility of catching them in the US of A in a couple months or so, but that would depend a lot on life not sucking as much and school not being as big a bitch and my luck not getting in the way. We’ll see.

I was supposed to review the brand new TV on the Radio album here, but since there’s more important news to report and I’ve been bummed for a few days now, I guess TV on the Radio will have to wait. Anyway, the album is good, and I will return to it as soon as I get over my sulky, emotional cutting phase, which would be in a few days, hopefully.

Today I plan on getting a haircut and going shopping, because that way I will spoil myself and the shallow happiness will obliterate, in a certain amount, my sadness. Pictures will be provided later. In the meantime, I am going to fill my gut with cereal and chocolate milk and try not to jump off of the balcony. Chivediamo a domani, my dear amici.

Listening to: Die Toten Hosen – Hier kommt Alex
Eating: Cereal
Drinking: Chocolate milk (doh, I think I already said this…)

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