>Can you remember the last time I did shit to my hair? I think it was last September, as part of the retail/self-improvement/psychologist recommended therapy I underwent to rid myself of depression. Yeah, cause Trent ‘I’m so hot I can cancel shows as I please and don’t even have to apologize for it’ Reznor decided this side of the globe was not worthy of his Holy presence and sent my plans of seeing a Lights in the Sky tour show down the shitter. Back when I had money to throw away and no purpose in life whatsoever. Fun times, indeed.
Yeah, as sad as missing my concert was, getting a makeover was fun nevertheless. It stopped being fun when I had to pay an undisclosed, outrageous amount of money for it, but looking back at it, it wasn’t such a bad decision. My hair looks healthier now, I can style it better, it looks like it belongs on a human head and not like a part of Chewbacca’s rump… yeah, the haircut was okay. I could have spent less, but then again, I had extra money that I did not use to prove my undying love for Reznor, and I was depressed, so it was a sweet indulgence that I can forgive myself for. Now, nearly four months after the deluxe haircut and the invisible coloring, I touched my hair again.
I had expressed the desire to go blonde for the first time in December. I never had any interest in becoming a blonde, as I am not a natural one and I never will be, and I don’t think it’s a good look for me at all. I’m a brunette, my dark hair makes me more exotic and mysterious (lol) and I love it. Plus, me and peroxide have a long history of hating each other, which I would rather keep to myself because peroxide was a hypocrite and messed with my hair when it said it wouldn’t and I felt really betrayed and ashamed. I had a very clear mindset regarding blonde hair. I am NOT a blonde, and if it doesn’t look natural, it’s not worth trying. I hate fake blondes and would rather pull a Britney and shave off all my hair than go platinum. But… there comes my annoying new friend who I’ll refer to as ANF, and changes my mind. So, it’s Christmas and I’m dying to get my hair colored in a dark blonde shade. Yup, I still think platinum sucks. I just wanted to get a lighter, natural looking shade that would make “my eyes stand out,” as ANF pointed out. Because of money limitations, or rather the fact that I’m a hopeless shoeaholic, I couldn’t get my hair done in December, and up until last week, hair color had totally slipped my mind. Now, last week, I was at the supermarket getting tons of food for my fun-size Poodle, when I walked down the personal care aisle and I saw it. There were… hair colors. And there it was: sultry, classy, shiny, luscious Medium Ash Blonde haircolor staring right back at me as I stood in awe in front of the shelf. It had to be mine. It would look perfect on me. Finally, my recent infatuation was becoming a reality and I was going to be a blonde.
Wanna see how it went? Okay then, here are some god-awful pics, pardon the bad angles:
Yup, not exactly blonde. I don’t know, but it looks like a lighter, more reddish shade of my natural hair color. I’m not complaining, cause it got the job done and I didn’t lose my trademark dark hair in the way, but I can’t help feeling a little ripped-off. The box said ‘Medium Ash Blonde’ and I expected… I don’t know, something more golden-ish. So now I’m sporting auburn hair and it does sort of almost look natural, if you buy my crap and believe I was born with auburn hair, which I doubt, but it’s still way better than trying to sell you the ‘I’m a natural blonde’ line. Yeahhhh riiiightttt…
I don’t know if the box was mislabeled or I simply can’t hold a decent color on my dark dark hair but that is soooo NOT ash blonde! Or is it? Anyway, I wouldn’t know, I have no idea how hair colors work so what the heck.