>I Swore I Wouldn’t Write About This, I Really Did

>As anyone who’s been following my stupid blog lately knows, I established an embargo on all things Trent Reznor, following his spectacular display of utter douchiness and lack of respect for his fanbase, especially women, last year. This embargo forbade me to write about Sir Douche-A-Lot in any other way that was not strictly professional, e.g.: his work with Nine Inch Nails – which despite his many personal faults and letdowns remains more or less sort of like my favorite band – his musical collaborations with any other artists which I were to find amusing/worth my time, his solo work – if, of course, it follows the rules mentioned in the previous point – and in general, anything music related that does NOT include any sort of praise to his physical attributes/(rotten) personality/private life. With a few exceptions, I have managed to abide by the rules and respect the embargo, because I’m cool. I’m not sure if what I’m about to write meets the conditions for embargo-worthy, or is an allowed topic, but I am willing to take my chances, because I am sick of stumbling upon wave after wave of hypocrisy and false kiss-assery all over any of my usual internet spots. So, if it’s of anyone’s concern, here are my two cents on:

HOW TO DESTROY ANGELS

Fuck them. Fuck them in the ass with a broomstick and then kill them with fire and throw the remains in the Atlantic. Yes, I might have anger issues, but this is what happens when I get sick of something and I let it get this bad. Reznor-aid drinkers all over the internet are digging this shit and wetting their panties over it, afraid to admit it sucks for fear of questioning their god; and it’s gotten a little (ok, a lot) annoying. Fuck Trent Reznor and his ego, because I’m pretty sure it was his ego that made him depart from NIN and start a new project that sounds exactly like NIN. You know, to stay relevant and have his friend-foe/lover-hater Pitchfork talking about him again. I mean, everyone who’s been following this little man’s career for the last few years knows that, as much as he loves to talk shit about Pitchfork, he loves to be on it. The same way he loves to talk shit about the Grammys, and we all know he’s dying to get another one. We can see right through you, Trent.

But I digress. Sorry, I have ADD. I might be bitter, because I really miss the old NIN days, when there was good music, excellent tours and Meathead, and Trent was an aloof genius you couldn’t help admiring from a distance. And maybe I am biased – ok, I am pretty sure I am biased – and was prompt to judge him based on my personal opinion of what he’s turned into in the last year. What I cannot deny is that whatever he’s up to now, How to Destroy Angels (seriously, what the hell is wrong with him? I know Nine Inch Nails isn’t a great band name, but at least it was good enough and ORIGINAL, and wasn’t the name of a Coil release, hello?! I mean, dude, how hard is it to come up with a band name?!) or whatever, really pales in comparison to his previous NIN work, which is weird cause it sounds just like it. Or maybe it sucks because of it.

I’m sorry, Trent, sycophantic NIN fanatics, Pitchfork, friends and enemies, but anyone with taste and knowledge of NIN history knows this is just a bad hybrid of Fragile-esque lyrics and post-drugs NIN instrumentation. I used to think his writing of self destruction and personal battles was brave and poignant and smart, but after 20 years (seriously, how mopey can a middle aged dude with a mansion in the hills of Beverly and his own personal blow up doll be?) it sounds washed out, unoriginal and, well, fake. I would normally accept it, because I know more than anyone how hard it is to control one’s inner demons, but after hearing how “happy” and “in love” he was (and supposedly still is), I am, quite reasonably, a little dubious when his first single from his new project is a song about drowning and needing saving. Oh, ok, of course, he didn’t write it. His “wife” wrote it. Suuuure Trent, sure. Your wife is your soulmate, we know. In fact, you guys are so much alike she writes with your own words and about the SAME GODDAMNED FUCKING SHIT you’ve been writing since the beginning. Now I see why you married her. Heh. And seriously dude, how unhappy and sad can a woman be if she’s married to your holy almighty ass?! Quoting her, she feels good she’s finally writing “from the heart”. Well, you better start buying her some more shoes, cause IMO, she’s not happy. But I guess neither are you, and a couple that does the whole emo thing together, stays together. Right?

Brah.

Music wise, this wimpy piano extravaganza (seriously, 7 minutes? Why the fuck, dude? If I wanted to hear an introspective downtempo piano song with much better lyrics, I’d play Non Entity! No one needs 7 minutes of depressing lyrics, flat vocals and familiar melody when we can get the same shit in pretty much every NIN album. ) is… here it comes, wait for it… MEH. I’m sorry, Reznor, but with all this experience and expertise, you should be able to put out something better, not just grab old shit, slap nice samples on it with super glue and call it a brand new, original song. Literally, I’ve heard that same piano all over Ghosts, The Fragile, and yes, it sounds just like Non fucking Entity, stripped down version. And Non Entity isn’t even a strong NIN song! If HTDA is about reworking and gay-ifying old NIN songs, then I want a full reworking of good songs like Happiness in Slavery and Somewhat Damaged. Now THAT would be a challenge. Worst of all, now that Mr. Reznor has blown the minds of his poor naïve NINphomaniacs with “NEW STUFF FROM TRENT OMGWTFBBQ!”, and fans all over the world have had a taste of his bomb-diggity music, if they want it they’ll have to buy it. Seriously. Seriously. I mean, if any of you guys out there have ever purchased a NIN album, you shouldn’t even pay for this shit. I know I have. I have dished out lots of money for this dude in the past, and now he expects me to pay for a fucking song that I’ve already paid for?! LOL.

Ah, finally. I feel like I just had a colonic (ew). I’ve finally gotten it out of my system and I’m happy and peaceful and in love with the world again. I know it’s is too soon to judge, as this is only one song out of a six-track EP by How to Destroy Angels due out this summer, but this is how I feel about it at the moment, and if the EP is good, I will apologize, though I seriously doubt it. Now that all’s been said and done, I can go back to writing about my boyfriend and music that does and doesn’t suck. BTW, thank you Reznor, for pulling me out of my blogger’s block and making my lazy ass write again.😀

Ok, you guys can start hating me now.

EDIT:

I’m sorry, I’m stupid and forgot to put a link to the track I just killed:

How to Destroy Angels – A Drowning

According to NINWiki.com

—————-
Now playing: UNKLE – End Titles
via FoxyTunes

4 thoughts on “>I Swore I Wouldn’t Write About This, I Really Did

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