Amazon Is My Bitch

A few weeks ago, I ordered a few things from Amazon and had them delivered to a P.O. Box given to me by a courier. In my country, we are strongly against importing stuff because we have a lot of nationalistic pride, so bringing imports here is a nightmare.

When I placed my order, I checked to see how much the shipping costs would amount to if I had everything delivered to my home address in bumfuck Ecuador. The cost was nearly three times as much as the cost of all products combined, so I said, fuck that. I used a courier service instead. Those lovely peeps make a living out of bringing stuff from abroad to unfortunate, money-handicapped people like myself, for a fraction of the regular cost.

Wonderful, awesome.

Except it’s not awesome when they lose shit.

I ordered three products in total. Two Arduino boards that shipped from the same place, and a book that shipped from a different address. The book was supposed to arrive three days after I placed the order, cause the seller was cool and efficient like that. The Arduino boards shipped from the ice mountains of Canada, and therefore were supposed to take forever to arrive to their destination. Alright, so I alerted the courier people and gave them the estimated dates of delivery for my products. Since the Arduinos were supposed to take the longest to be delivered, I waited patiently and decided not to bother anyone inquiring every single day about my fucking package. Until yesterday, when I remembered that it’s been a few weeks already and my stuff should be on its way.

I checked with Amazon first, to confirm that my items did indeed get delivered. The Arduinos showed a successful “delivered” status, which was great. When I checked the book, however, I found a weird “On vehicle for delivery today”. Cool and everything, except that the date displayed there said April 29th.


I checked with UPS and I found the same goddamned status, with the same goddamned date. I contacted them, and a few hours later, they replied that my order had “missed its scheduled delivery date”, whatever that means, and that I should contact Amazon to find out more about my problem.

THIS SHIT HAD NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE! Of all the orders I’ve made throughout the years, nothing has ever got lost. Nothing. Never. But there’s always a first time for everything. I contacted Amazon, tried my best to explain whatever the fuck I understood from that UPS email I got – meaning I copied and pasted the whole thing and sent it to them, hehe – and expected to be told  that they would just refund my money. Instead, Amazon saved the day by replying to my email (immediately) with the following:


I’m sorry your shipment was lost in transit.

I’ve placed a new order that’s listed below. There’s no charge for this replacement order. We’ll ship it to the same address as soon as possible. I’ve also upgraded the shipping method to Two-Day Shipping at no additional charge.

Order Number: xxx-xxxxxxx-xxxxxxx
Estimated Delivery Date: May 17, 2011

I’m forwarding this issue to our shipping department–I know they’ll want to hear about your experience.

We’re aware that our choice of delivery services reflects on our business as a whole, and we appreciate your patience.

If the original order does show up, you can refuse the unopened package or use our Online Returns Center to return the extra order:

We look forward to your next visit.

❤ ❤ ❤

The way I see it, the courier failed to receive my order, so UPS kept it. It wasn’t Amazon’s fault, from what I could tell. Yet they fixed it like a serious company that cares about customer service does. That is awesome. I’m used to always getting crappy customer service in my country, so having Amazon take care of my problem like that felt good. I bet, had this happened in Ecuador, no one would have responded for my lost book.

So Amazon, you’re my new online shopping god. I love you with mad passion. 🙂


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